Me and my daughter
It’s difficult to keep surfing and stoked after having kids, but it is possible.
Surfer Dad was created as a space to vent my surfing frustrations, and hopefully help other surfer parents along the way.
In fact, my first proper post was all about ‘surfing survival for new parents’.
Thankfully, I’m getting better at the father/surfer balancing act, but I’m always searching for ways to survive my apocalyptic parenthood.
So I thought I’d ask other Surfer Dads, Mums and Grandparents how they keep surfing and stoked. Here’s what they said:
1. Do dawnies
Dawn patrols came top of the top tips. Early morning surfs are great for avoiding crowds, catching offshore breezes and slipping in a surf while nobody notices.
If you’re lucky enough to have a child that loves the water, take them with you:
“Our morning surf sessions are a great family time and an incredible way to start off the day. We are up SO early with kids that it only makes sense to put that time to use and get in the water.”
Heather Mohr, Hawaii – Mama Surfs blog
“Depends how old they are, mine are bit older now so it’s dawn patrols all the way. Didn’t work when they were smaller though.”
Jams Lockyer @Jamslockyer – Dad, Husband, Surfer and Squash player in Somerset.
2. Make space in your life
Make time and go surfing
Photo: Adventures of Hoogrrl
It doesn’t matter if it’s a dawny before the kids are awake or a sunset surf after they’ve gone to bed – just make space for a surf.
It’s also important to dodge time-killing bullets like DIY and unnecessary chores.
“Don’t agree to DIY projects, they’ll suck up any spare time you might have had to go surfing”
Matt Collings, father, hungry surfer, North Cornwall
“Make space in your life for your real priorities. Don’t clog up precious life hours with things that don’t really matter to you. Don’t choose mowing the lawn over waves, you know? Yeah, it’s a pain in the arse to arrange for childcare so you can surf, but it can be done– even on a budget.“
Katrina Costedio, Florida – Work.Surf.Katrina blog
“Making surf a priority is important. Take a look at your schedule and see if there is any down time that you can set aside for surfing.”
Heather Mohr, Hawaii – Mama Surfs blog
3. Make surfing routine
Parents know better than most, that routine can be the key to a happier life.
“Make surfing a routine…setting aside a specific “surf” day or water time makes surfing a priority and something that is built into your life. I find that having somewhat of a routine or specific days for things keep my life from getting cluttered with stuff I have to do and more about the things I want to do.”
Heather Mohr, Hawaii – Mama Surfs blog
4. Encourage your children to enjoy the beach
My daughter loves Harlyn Bay
With a little time, patience and planning your kids will be begging you to take them to the beach. But beware, there’s a fine line between encouragement and enforcement – you could scar them for life!
“Get the kids to like the beach. When @Poogmobile was a youngster we couldn’t keep him off the golf course!”
David Bracey @mr_djb – Cornish longboarder and Grandparent
Although…
“When dad(@mr_djb) stopped trying to make me ‘like’ the beach I took up surfing reverse psychology works every time!”
Mark Bracey @Poogmobile – surfer, golfer and father in Cornwall.
5. Barter for surfs
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of give and take. Personally, I’m happy for days after a good surf and generally more fun to be with. So my partner is happy to accommodate a few hours surfing now and then. If that doesn’t work for you – barter.
“Post weekend surf I’m always a push over so normally find myself agreeing to lunch or supper somewhere nice/expensive.”
Dickie Toast – Author of Wheels On Toast blog
6. Soak up some surf media
I recommend finding a great surf blog for regular online surf nourishment. When you’re suffering a dry spell – Google is your friend. Discover surf videos, news, forums and photos from around the world on the web. It’s no substitute for surfing, but it’ll help you survive until the next saltwater session.
“Watching surf vids… whenever there’s a comp on like the Pipe Triple Crown event the other week (so stoked that Parko won his title!) I always watch it at home/work and it reminds me of solid tactics to remember to use to get more waves and that I am, and always will be, a surfer.”
Toby Lott, father, surfer, fitness fanatic, Devon
“Reading the articles, watching the movies and checking out the sweet imagery of surfing can sometimes be enough.”
Markie Wan Kenobi, father, very hungry surfer, Norfolk
7. Go swimming
Swim more
Photo source: Guillermo / Unsplash
One of the biggest surf parent problems is keeping surf fit. So choose a more convenient form of exercise to complement your surfing, and you’ll enjoy the next surf more.
“I swim everyday and I definitely notice it when I do go for a wave. When I’m swimming I find it really motivating to imagine being in the ocean, swimming against a rip after losing my board. I also make sure that I tumble-turn at each end of the pool and stay under as long as possible, simulating a wipeout on a heavier wave and reminding my mind to keep calm and preserve oxygen.“
Toby Lott, father, surfer, fitness fanatic, Devon
“When I’m swimming or running, I remind myself that I’m doing it so I can stay fit for longer so I can carry-on surfing well into old age, making sure that I’m physically able to pass the gift of surfing to my daughter.“
Toby Lott, father, surfer, fitness fanatic, Devon
8. Have a dream
I dream of my daughter surfing alongside me someday. To make this dream come true, I take her swimming every week, encourage her to paddle in the sea and play with surfboards in the water. One day soon I hope she’ll ride a ripple.
Ok, so dreams don’t always come true. But I have a dream, and the worst case scenario is she learns how to swim and spends more time than most at the beach.
“My dream is that one day my daughter, her mother and I will have a session in glassy tropical waves and I’ll get to see my daughter deep inside a barrel before being spat out and carving a top-turn so hard that me and her mum get covered in spray! That’s what keeps me surfing.”
Toby Lott, father, surfer, fitness fanatic, Devon
9. Buy a new board
Extra incentive to surf
If you have a shiny new board, you’re more likely to use it. It would be a crime not to.
“Buy a new board, stop blogging and get surfing”
Tony Plant, Environmental Artist, Surfer, Cornwall
10. Find an understanding partner
If you have kids it’s probably a bit late to find a new partner. But, an understanding loved one can be the key to a successful surf life post-kids.
“Get a good girlfriend. They understand and will want you to go surfing.”
James Neale, surfer, father and Creative Director at Idenna
11. Phone a friend or family
Whether it’s for group outings to the beach or for emergency childcare, don’t be afraid to make a call.
“Everyone around me knows how important surfing is to me, so when I say, ‘Hey, there’s waves today, can you take Dylan [Katrina’s son] to school and pick him up today and I’ll come get him around dark?’ My friends usually oblige. Would they do the same if I was like, ‘Hey, I feel like taking a bath and going to a movie today?’ Probably not.”
Katrina Costedio, Florida – Work.Surf.Katrina blog
“It’s all about dawnies and weekend trips with surfing uncles and grandpares [sic] passing the responsibility batten to allow quick dip.”
Mark Bracey @Poogmobile – surfer, golfer and father in Cornwall.
“I’ve found its easier to get a babysitter to come with you to the beach, that way everyone can enjoy the beach and you don’t have to worry about your kid being abducted or running off or drowning while you’re in the line-up.”
Katrina Costedio, Florida – Work.Surf.Katrina blog
12. Be a positive role model
Keep surfing for the kids
Your children will probably learn to love the fact you surf. When you were a kid did you want a parent who:
a) took you surfing
OR
b) was boring, grumpy and moaned all the time about how they used to be a surfer!
You owe it to your kids to keep surfing.
“I also think its important for Dylan to see me fighting for the things I love and making room in my life for them. I own my own business, so I work long, hard hours and he sees that and he also sees me making time for him and for surfing. He doesn’t see me sitting in front of the TV or going out to bars, he sees me fighting for my passions and he sees our community rising to support me in that. It’s powerful, I think. “
Katrina Costedio, Florida – Work.Surf.Katrina blog
13. Start a parents surf club
This is perhaps the most genius suggestion of all:
“The best thing for me as a surfing mum has been to be part of the local Mawgan Porth ladies’ crew. Having other mums to surf with has really motivated me and helped me through the frustrations of finding time and energy to surf around having young children. We have a WhatsApp group to let each other know when we’re surfing around the school and nursery runs, and also meet up and watch each other’s kids on the beach so we get some solo water time and maintain our fitness and sanity!”
Hayley Lawrence, Cornwall – Family Surf Co
Hayley and fellow surf mum Celine launched a family surf holiday company, Family Surf Co, to inspire other families to surf and enjoy the beach lifestyle. For 2021 they’re launching the ultimate family surfing weekenders, with a special focus on surfing and me-time for mums. Enjoy luxury beachside accommodation, small group surf, fitness and spa sessions for mums, and a fun-packed itinerary for the whole family. Whether you’re complete beginners or already have some surfing experience, these weekends are a great way to meet like-minded mums and families who love the beach and surfing.
They’ve also started a Facebook Family Surfing Community to bring together surfing parents, and share advice, information and inspiration about family surfing life.
If you’re a surfer parent and have some top tips to offer, please share them in the comments below.
Down here in sunny Bournemouth we have our own online surfing blog ‘Bournemouth Swell’ at bournemouthswell.wordpress.com to keep us updated with local news, events, etc. Check it out and read, for example, all about our infamous artificial surf reef.
And here’s Secret Spot’s top tips:
first, you have to have your own four wheels clatter-free from kids stuff and loaded with surf essentials, ready to hit the surf with five minutes notice; second, strategically put giant surf posters in kids bedrooms so they see and dream of riding the wave, like Daddy does; third, early morning surf is a must as it is totally hassle-free.
And here’s Secret Spot’s top tips:
first, you have to have your own four wheels clatter-free from kids stuff and loaded with surf essentials, ready to hit the surf with five minutes notice; second, strategically put giant surf posters in kids bedrooms so they see and dream of riding the wave, like Daddy does; third, early morning surf is a must as it is totally hassle-free.
Down here in sunny Bournemouth we have our own online surfing blog ‘Bournemouth Swell’ at bournemouthswell.wordpress.com to keep us updated with local news, events, etc. Check it out and read, for example, all about our infamous artificial surf reef.
#9. Buy a new board
For me, buying an old board works best – I’ve had the most fun on the cheapest 2nd hand board I bought on ebay, because I’m not constantly worried about damaging it. I’m the same with cars ..
Wise words Patrick.
At heart I agree with you, but if I can find a way to justify a new board…
Wise words Patrick.
At heart I agree with you, but if I can find a way to justify a new board…
#9. Buy a new board
For me, buying an old board works best – I’ve had the most fun on the cheapest 2nd hand board I bought on ebay, because I’m not constantly worried about damaging it. I’m the same with cars ..
My husband is definitely a hungry surfer. He surfs whenever he can … around his work hours, wife and 4 little girls!
I think having a wife who shares his love of surfing and the beach is the key for us so your partner theory is right on 🙂
We live on the NSW South Coast in Australia and are lucky enough to have a dozen surf breaks on our doorstep. The weather, even in winter, is mild enough to have the kids at the beach with us and they just love it Our, we do it at least once a week all year and daily in Summer. Our eldest is 9 and has been surfing for 2 years now, our 6 year old is a sandcastle artiste, our 2 year old is learning to catch a wave (with her floaties on!) and our youngest watched her dad surf for the first time at a week old, in the baby carrier on my chest. At 7 months she squeals and claps when we hit the sand. Birthday presents are always a wetsuit, spring suit, legropes, fins, money towards a trip and / or an addition to the quiver. We have family holidays at beach shacks or resorts at surf spots where we all relax and enjoy the weather, sightseeing, relax and surf… and my husband goes on a yearly lads trip to Indonesia to surf the beautiful waves of Sumbawa and Bali.
We have an understanding that when there’s waves there’ll be a lot of surfing and when there’s no swell he’ll be catching up on odd jobs. I must say he does always put his girls first and has often sat at a school play with a wistful look whilst his local is pumping. Yes, dawn patrols & a sneaky paddle while the wife and kids build sandcastles and splash are a surfing dad’s best friends!
I suppose surfing is just our lifestyle…and even with 4 children it hasn’t changed. We wouldn’t have it any other way…really love your blog.
Thanks for your great comments.
Sounds like you’ve got the next pro surfing family on your hands, so I’m sure you’ll be leading the surfing lifestyle forever.
Winter has struck here in the UK, so only the brave and bonkers build sandcastles on the beach at the moment.
I’m very jealous of the Aussie weather right now, but I’m off to N.Z at Christmas so should catch some warm waves and sun rays again soon.
Take care
Thanks for your great comments.
Sounds like you’ve got the next pro surfing family on your hands, so I’m sure you’ll be leading the surfing lifestyle forever.
Winter has struck here in the UK, so only the brave and bonkers build sandcastles on the beach at the moment.
I’m very jealous of the Aussie weather right now, but I’m off to N.Z at Christmas so should catch some warm waves and sun rays again soon.
Take care
My husband is definitely a hungry surfer. He surfs whenever he can … around his work hours, wife and 4 little girls!
I think having a wife who shares his love of surfing and the beach is the key for us so your partner theory is right on 🙂
We live on the NSW South Coast in Australia and are lucky enough to have a dozen surf breaks on our doorstep. The weather, even in winter, is mild enough to have the kids at the beach with us and they just love it Our, we do it at least once a week all year and daily in Summer. Our eldest is 9 and has been surfing for 2 years now, our 6 year old is a sandcastle artiste, our 2 year old is learning to catch a wave (with her floaties on!) and our youngest watched her dad surf for the first time at a week old, in the baby carrier on my chest. At 7 months she squeals and claps when we hit the sand. Birthday presents are always a wetsuit, spring suit, legropes, fins, money towards a trip and / or an addition to the quiver. We have family holidays at beach shacks or resorts at surf spots where we all relax and enjoy the weather, sightseeing, relax and surf… and my husband goes on a yearly lads trip to Indonesia to surf the beautiful waves of Sumbawa and Bali.
We have an understanding that when there’s waves there’ll be a lot of surfing and when there’s no swell he’ll be catching up on odd jobs. I must say he does always put his girls first and has often sat at a school play with a wistful look whilst his local is pumping. Yes, dawn patrols & a sneaky paddle while the wife and kids build sandcastles and splash are a surfing dad’s best friends!
I suppose surfing is just our lifestyle…and even with 4 children it hasn’t changed. We wouldn’t have it any other way…really love your blog.
As a 40 something father of 2 girls (one surfer one non-surfer) I can relate to most of these. Bartering in particular – I’ve even been known to do the ironing in exchange for a surf session at the weekend!
Hiya Mark, thanks for taking the time to comment.
Have you got any tips for converting your kids to surfers?
It’s been a slow process for me, and hoping this year will be the one where my daughter (now nearly 6) finally becomes a surfer.
Please send any tips and advice to surferdaduk@gmail.com. Cheers
Hiya Mark, thanks for taking the time to comment.
Have you got any tips for converting your kids to surfers?
It’s been a slow process for me, and hoping this year will be the one where my daughter (now nearly 6) finally becomes a surfer.
Please send any tips and advice to surferdaduk@gmail.com. Cheers
As a 40 something father of 2 girls (one surfer one non-surfer) I can relate to most of these. Bartering in particular – I’ve even been known to do the ironing in exchange for a surf session at the weekend!
I make swimming and surfing a lifestyle. I make sure when the surfs right i go, and swimming i just do. I have two boys, one ten and a goer and one who’s eight and has different abilities (disabled). They suck up time, I’m a builder and i have decided I don’t do jobs, I subbue everything out especially lawns, our friend/ carer looks after the boys better than me so i let her. When i swim and surf I’m happy, the last thing my family needs is a grumpy, moaning father, husband, builder.
I told our family its what we do, we go to the surf beach, so they are all into it. I bought a boat for the family and the young boy loves it in the boat when the elder boy and friends are wake boarding. Life’s a beach and i do it as much as humanly possible. I tell clients I’m going surfing and swimming and they respect me for it. Now i have to go surfing! See you all later thanks for listening ;))
Ps
I’m 48 going on 28
Hi Trigger, surfing can certainly help you keep feeling young. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Cheers
Hi Trigger, surfing can certainly help you keep feeling young. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Cheers
Ps
I’m 48 going on 28
I make swimming and surfing a lifestyle. I make sure when the surfs right i go, and swimming i just do. I have two boys, one ten and a goer and one who’s eight and has different abilities (disabled). They suck up time, I’m a builder and i have decided I don’t do jobs, I subbue everything out especially lawns, our friend/ carer looks after the boys better than me so i let her. When i swim and surf I’m happy, the last thing my family needs is a grumpy, moaning father, husband, builder.
I told our family its what we do, we go to the surf beach, so they are all into it. I bought a boat for the family and the young boy loves it in the boat when the elder boy and friends are wake boarding. Life’s a beach and i do it as much as humanly possible. I tell clients I’m going surfing and swimming and they respect me for it. Now i have to go surfing! See you all later thanks for listening ;))
Great comments. Married with 2 little girls, my wife surfs as well. We simply make it a priority: Make friends with other surfers and surfing families, check the surf forecast before making commitments such as Dr appointments, haircuts, etc. Go early, barter, let the mother-in-law move in, take babysitters to the beach, do 10 minute ‘who can catch the most waves’ contests whilst trading off shore duties, get the kids into surf school as early as possible, load the car and prep the food and supplies the night before (Netflix isn’t important), go to bed early, and yes, put surf posters on their bedroom walls!
Hi Jeff, sounds like you’ve got the family surf mission nailed. I think letting the mother-in-law move in might be crossing the line though. Thanks for taking the time to comment, much appreciated. Cheers
Hi Jeff, sounds like you’ve got the family surf mission nailed. I think letting the mother-in-law move in might be crossing the line though. Thanks for taking the time to comment, much appreciated. Cheers
Great comments. Married with 2 little girls, my wife surfs as well. We simply make it a priority: Make friends with other surfers and surfing families, check the surf forecast before making commitments such as Dr appointments, haircuts, etc. Go early, barter, let the mother-in-law move in, take babysitters to the beach, do 10 minute ‘who can catch the most waves’ contests whilst trading off shore duties, get the kids into surf school as early as possible, load the car and prep the food and supplies the night before (Netflix isn’t important), go to bed early, and yes, put surf posters on their bedroom walls!
My wife is 3 weeks from her due date. The surf is pumping. Understandably she wants me to be close by so the best I can do now is daydream about my last session. Luckily it was a good one. Glad I’ve found this blog for inspiration and to give me hope for the future. It’s hard to break the habit of a lifetime and stop doing what you love. Even temporarily. But when we’re all on the beach together and my daughter sees me surfing and is inspired by that, I’ll be the happiest man alive.
Cheers
Hi Trevor,
Good luck to you and your wife as you ride the long, emotional learning curve of parenthood.
I really hope some of the shared experiences and lessons learnt on Surfer Dad will help you along the way.
Please keep in contact, let us know how you get on and share any top tips you discover for keeping your surf life alive.
Cheers Andrew (surfer Dad)
Hi Trevor,
Good luck to you and your wife as you ride the long, emotional learning curve of parenthood.
I really hope some of the shared experiences and lessons learnt on Surfer Dad will help you along the way.
Please keep in contact, let us know how you get on and share any top tips you discover for keeping your surf life alive.
Cheers Andrew (surfer Dad)
My wife is 3 weeks from her due date. The surf is pumping. Understandably she wants me to be close by so the best I can do now is daydream about my last session. Luckily it was a good one. Glad I’ve found this blog for inspiration and to give me hope for the future. It’s hard to break the habit of a lifetime and stop doing what you love. Even temporarily. But when we’re all on the beach together and my daughter sees me surfing and is inspired by that, I’ll be the happiest man alive.
Cheers
I have read some of the tips that you discussed and shared here. Your tips are also useful for me. Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge about holidays.